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Consummate The Marriage...Maybe!

Kelly in wedding dress with feet on bed and looking into camera
Paul's car decorated with toilet paper and tin cans for wedding

My wife, Kelly, and I got married in Charlotte. As the wedding ended and we got in our decorated "Just Married" car complete with soap writing on the windshield and tin cans hanging from the bumper, my new bride turned to me and said, "I know it's our honeymoon night but I have a lot of friends in town, would you mind if I went out with them?"


Trying to be the supportive NEW husband, and realizing I was encountering one of those for better or worse moments within seconds of the nuptial, I told her it was fine. I sweetly whispered in her ear, "Let's just meet back at our new apartment at midnight". Kelly smiled at me and said, "I'll be there...unless I get lucky!"

With that, she hopped out of my car and sped off in her

Mazda leaving skid marks in the driveway.

A few seconds later it dawned on me: I was now driving down the street in a "Just Married" car...ALONE!


People were honking their horns as they passed my car and then doing a double-take. As I pulled up to a red light the car on my left motioned for me to roll down my window. I sheepishly lowered it and the woman shouted happily, "Where is the little bride?" I looked at her coldly and said, "We had a fight; she's in the trunk."

As the driver quickly rolled up her window, reality hit me when the light turned green and I heard the clankity-clank of tin cans behind my bumper and realized this road had 14 more traffic lights.

By Paul Marks



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