( Dr. Seuss style story about voting for Trump)
Stanley Stooliddle was very, very, middle class
His fine china consisted of two plates and a glass
His weight was in the middle
and his height was too
His chart was normal and he wore a size ten shoe
He had a moderate income, a moderate house
and some say a moderately attractive spouse
On this November day a couple years ago
Stanley put on his shoes and walked in the cold snow
With each middle class step he took, in his size ten shoe
he left a footprint documenting what he would do
Stanley came to the spot
At seventeenth and McBrine
Straightened his MAGA cap and voted for the first time
He tapped the computer screen, selected his choice
It seemed Donald J Trump would represent his voice.
And as Stanley Stoodliddle left the voting booth
he knew Mister Donald J Trump stood for the truth.
And then he thought and he thought and he thought some more
then echoed his impure thoughts at the precinct door.
“Sure he’s womanized, fibbed, and never paid a bill
but Christians stand behind him shouting ‘it’s God’s will’ “
With those thoughts off his chest he was sure he was right
Stanley went back in the snow and into the night
He retraced his same footprints all the way home
Found out while looking at Chrome
Now it’s two thousand nineteen and Stanley’s not budged
Although the truths Trump does tell, might be slightly fudged
Trump’s walk with God is a spiritual journey
though his guidance comes from a personal attorney
When things get tough I’m certain he reads the Bible
Quotes two Corinthians and prays he’s not libel
But Donald J Trump does speak to the heart
of middle class folks, and those who are not
When I say those who are not, I’m not talking ‘bout the poor
It’s the billionaires who have no voice on the Senate floor.
Just this morning Stanley did something out of whack.
Kissed his wife of ten years and went on the attack.
He went on Fox news to praise the Commander-in-Chief.
Who he knew watched the show for his daily debrief
As he sat in the green room Stanley saw a cross-stitch.
The corporate motto in a font called snivvily-snitch.
He read it aloud so he could slowly digest
and envelop the creed of the company crest.
“You’re not a sycophant ; you’re not being misled
Every guest on Fox news bleeds Republican Red.”
Stanley thought, we all bleed red but that’s not the point!
This motto’s about understanding those we anoint.
Stanley Stooliddle straightened his over-sized tie
which had the word Republican scrawled in tie-dye
He took a sip of cold water, combed back his hair
Then he heard them say "3, 2, 1 you’re on the air"
Stanley said, "It’s a Witch Hunt"! Then he sipped on some tea
"those advisors are rats who entered a guilty plea"
Then he faced the camera, his eyes big as a tin
said, “I hope your listening president Putin”
It was a slip of the tongue, he meant to say Trump
Oh no! How do we fix this? His throat had a lump.
Even though he spoke from the heart and not from a text
His mind for a moment had been completely perplexed
Stanley’s final six words were taken out of context
The anchors caught in a storm like a boat with two sails.
Prayed to the gods and even the late Roger Ailes.
Wait! Wait! Wait a minute! exclaimed a Fox news host
like our President we’ll change this to a boast.
It was a moment of mistaken identity
And fibbing is the art of the great Sean Hannity
Without missing a beat Sean jumped to his feet
His feet were enormous which made him elite.
With a sweet smelling sound he said Stanley got confused
About two great leaders who are always in the news
It’s like confusing Da Vinci and Mozart
Or a Nazi and a white supremacist
Or Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato
A marionette and a marionettist
The damage was done and the tweets came in.
The president was upset as he should have been.
Sure, marionettist is a really big word
but the president’s been studying and he’s graded on a curve.
Completely dejected, Stanley went home and to bed
his moderately attractive wife came in and said,
“Remember,twenty-twenty is not just a year,
it can make your vision abundantly clear”
Stanley didn’t understand, her riddle didn’t make sense
He sat there, said nothing, doing his best Mike Pence.
But that night Stanley Snooliddle cross-stitched a creed
the font was snivvily-snitch; it was easy to read
Sure, Trump’s never shopped for food at a grocery store
Never used a coupon or heard “cleanup aisle four”
But he’s one of us, I am very proud to say
Unless you’re an immigrant, Mexican, or Gay
By Paul Marks
February 4, 2019